xtragicpoemx's Journals on Buzznet http://xtragicpoemx.buzznet.com/user/journal/ en-us <![CDATA[summer love and trips to the ocean]]> http://xtragicpoemx.buzznet.com/user/journal/7151101/summer-love-trips-ocean/ ive spent most of my summer so far at the beach..

it lies in an arms reach but i still love it anyway.

i cannot wait for what summer has in store!

next week or sometime soon me and rev and whoever else are going to go to the bandon zoo...

were also going to go to trees of mystery so that we can ride the sky trail and go hiking and buy some of their amazing homemade fudge!

ocean world is also a must...i havent been shark petting since i was in second grade...

besides those little local things, we are planning one hell of a roadtrip!

Los angelas, San Diego, Colton, Las Vegas, Reno, Sacramwento, Marysville/O-town, Live Oak and Chico for penny candy! and San Fransisco on the journey upwward.

While in Sac I'm hoping to see Mia and Misha, and go to the Sac Zoo,

Mville for Kendra and the twin!

Doofer will be in LA, along with some of Revs fam (same with SD)

We'll also be seeing ALySsA !!! (colton)

Vegas for more of Revs fam...

San Fran for endless great experiences and Alcatraz!

Then six flags nearby in Vallejo.

i can't tell you how excited i am:)

soo looking forward to this.

LoveEvolution on October 2nd in SF:)

(ex lovefest)

So many great things to come!

IF YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON, I WILL ASSURE YOU THAT YOU WILL GET WHAT YOU WANT

strive for the best, nothing less,.

you have it all.

]]> Buzznet xtragicpoemx 2010-06-17T19:57:00Z <![CDATA[enrich the soil]]> http://xtragicpoemx.buzznet.com/user/journal/7150991/enrich-the-soil/ with the nutrients you need to plant your future!

on this lovely day i am here to tell you that i have infact,

completed this journey,

created a new sense of being

and i am ready to set it off!

but, there is the beauty of high school,

and being a senior, i have much to accomplish before i can...

following high school i will be taking my life to the city, and OH BOY do i miss it.

small towns are for caps and gowns and later days after the haze....

but its my time and im in my prime and i gotta make some experiences and make them last baby!

college is one thing i cant wait for..i will be attending a school of some sort so that i can master the fine art of MASSAGe...

surely i will also attempt to join in an art school...much creativityis in need of expression...

there is a remote beauty that i assure you will present itself in the near future.

a beautiful house, color cordinated to reach the fullest satisfaction of happiness.

color-mood assocation is a big thing in my eyes...

and my DOGS! i am soo soo thrilled... i cannot WAIT to bring these babies into my life!

shiba inu<3

and a welsh corgi

ill also be bringing my cat church..couldnt forget his demented ass...

hoping for a very LARGE fishtank..

i cannot wait

along with these changes will be eating more organically maybe even trying out vegan!

try to read my mind

]]> future life past well-being Buzznet xtragicpoemx 2010-06-15T19:07:00Z <![CDATA[The new and improved YOU]]> http://xtragicpoemx.buzznet.com/user/journal/7132161/new-improved/ or me

me as in we

equaling two in value

meaning YOU!

yes you

we are one under the sun

that lights the sky and unites life

inties the strife

of understanding the mind

in a collective bind

we are intertwined

and that just fine!

 

 

a beautiful galactic butterfly sunshined into my room and said HELLO CONSCIOUSNESS!

( a quote from rachel)

 

 

smile and be happy for today or tomorrow or whatever day

whatever person

it has now been one year and a few months and i have channeled all of my energy into logging onto this networking site to tell YOu about myself and what my life has created since my last visit.

everythings great in my world...

its wonderful to know that you can heal and control and fold and unfold every little aspect of your life

you can make beauty out of sheer emptyness

uglyness

shallowness

because YOU arent deeper then any other puddle...

i live for me and me only, i create the smiles and laughs that fill my day

because I have the POWER to control how i let things get to me and make me feel

no one can make you cry but yourself! :)

 

jason mraz IS all that any musician could ever be.

he is a lyrical magician

he is a reflection of everything that my mind has created

his lyrics a beautiful mimicry of the words that i could never express

 

he is HUMAN

as i

 

life is beautiful!

once you get there...

are YOU there yet?

 

can you smell the spectrum?

 

]]> Buzznet xtragicpoemx 2010-06-13T15:01:00Z <![CDATA[keeping my head up]]> http://xtragicpoemx.buzznet.com/user/journal/3855611/keeping-head-up/


a few thoughts.

i want to take a bubble bath
i cant wait for my house to get done
im so happy, i lost 6 pounds:)
i hate liars
i need some new band tees
i cant wait for fall out boys tour
im so glad mozart seasons coming all the way up here
im glad were friends again
i need to take things like this slower
i want to dye my hair bright red


oiiiiii.
i miss you.
i miss us.
i miss the thought of it.
i miss just our simple friendship...
]]> Buzznet xtragicpoemx 2009-03-11T19:42:00Z <![CDATA[what do i do...]]> http://xtragicpoemx.buzznet.com/user/journal/3749891/

i dont think before i do shit.
fucking. ugh.

i do love him but not in that way yet...

well....things are complicated.
it sucks cause i have everything i wants.


-5 fall out boy believers never die part deux tour tickets in san jose (oneforhimtoo)
-the best friends people could ask for
-an amazing boyfriend...
-all the clothes and shit i could ever want.
-new house
-mended family issues
-just...everything

and it sucks. cause i fuck everything up. and nothing ever seems like enough...
]]> Buzznet xtragicpoemx 2009-02-13T13:35:00Z <![CDATA[it just takes some time, little girl youre in the middle of the ride]]> http://xtragicpoemx.buzznet.com/user/journal/3700161/just-takes-some-time-little/

im thinking i love you.




im going to clear my head of all this madness.



ryan ross is the structure to my life
i cant take how much i love the song halloween by meg&dia (it makes me think of you)
i need new band tees.
i cant decide between taste of chaos or fall out boys tour.
i cant believe she fucked him.
i cant believe he fucker HER.
im sick of all the bullshit you put me through
i need new gloomy bears.
i need to get some new posters.
i miss my computer dearly, thank god only one more month in storage.
writing songs is amazing stress relief.
i am in love with this guy named tyler.
he could care less.
my stepdads a fucking DOUCHEBAG.
i need to buy mondayeyes, herbavore, guilty pleasure, glamour kills, and imagine jack vanek bracelets.
brendon urie is like medicine for the ear
oli sykes -- no words.
i need to redo my myspace.
i want to be in my new house NOWWWWWWW
i need to welcome god back in my life
i need to start making better decisions.
i need to start making an effort in school.
i want to improve my life.
i think i dont want to give up on you just yet.
im sick of fighting with my mom...
i need to be healthier.




]]> Buzznet xtragicpoemx 2009-01-31T21:42:00Z <![CDATA[dont pass it aside if you cant take them pain of waiting for it to come back around]]> http://xtragicpoemx.buzznet.com/user/journal/3468811/dont-pass-aside-if-cant/
anyway...so much has happened since ive last made a post. it feels like its been months (to think about it, it probably has been lol). i fell in love but couldnt pull myself back up...if you ever get that one chance to be with the one that you absolutely love, take it. embrace it. hold it and never ever ever let go and just keep it safe. cause once its gone its gone, no getting it back. dont be stupid. like me...if he tries to kiss you dont pull away, no matter how nervous you are. you might never get the chance again. it happened to me....and i cant tell you how badly i wanted it. i cant tell you how long i waited, for that one moment and i threw it away. its been about two weeks now, and where am i? im sitting here, giving my best friend advice. cause shes dating him. do you know how badly it hurts to save a relationship, that youre not even in? one that you wish you could be in? and they tell me there in love. they talk about their future. and life is like a waiting room. you sit in this cold hard chair and you watch all of these people pass by and you wonder what they did and what theyre doing and why there here and why there hair is the way it is and you never once stop to realize whats going on in your own life. and then once it smacks you in the face you realize...you just gave your room to someone else and now you have to wait another ten hours bla bla bla. but its been a week now. and i dont think i can wait any longer. love sucks but i guess.were gonna get hurt all our lives. and ill just take what i can get i guess.
]]> Buzznet xtragicpoemx 2008-12-05T20:17:00Z <![CDATA[its been so long =[]]> http://xtragicpoemx.buzznet.com/user/journal/3223391/long/ so much has happened. i got my lip pierced last night =)
i got lucky though, it didnt bleed or swell or anything...and it hurt less then a shot.
id do it again in a heartbeat!



oh, the shirt. i bought it at the rock band live tour =)
it was amzing, i have so many videos, ill upload them later so all you lovelies can see them =)
the rock band live tour was amazing. im not going to write a huge story because honestly i dont have the motivation too right now but i will do a basic outline of the night, going in order or performers, etc.
THE CAB:
-during ill run, alex deleon jumpedinto the audience and held my hand, halfway leaning on me (video!)
-alex d's dad came on and sang risky business with him
-alex's first concert was at arco arena (same place i was at) and it was hoobastank and incubus, tyvm
-alex d grew up in sacramento, his family INCLUDING grandparents were there
-talked to alex d before the show, he was walking around but no one knew who he was
-cash was sexy, as always..hair flip!
-alex marshall played some guitar during one of those ngihts, then switched to guitar.
other laex did this spin thing haha =)
THE P:LAIN WHITE T'S:
-hugged tom after their set, he came down to the barricade. besthugsever!
-tom kept making sex faces haha!
-they did a great job singing, but their set was quite borning.
-oh, and you couldnt hear him singing hey there delilah because the tonedeaf fangirls wouldnt sftu.
DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL:
-we told the singer he was sexy and he was like "talk to me after the show. you are some gorgeous ladies ;]
-whenever he said 'heart' we made hearts with our hands, and he saw me make one around my camera and said "thats so adorable!" and he pointed.
-i asked them to play hands down and he did "this next song is about the best day of my life"
-he told us a story about his ex gf stealing a car
-when they went to sing 'these bones', he said "this song is about a certain kind of bones...ya hurd?" lmao
-they covered a weezer song, cant remember the name. but cash (i couldnt tell, he was wearing diff. clothes) and two guys fromt he pwt's came out and sang with him.
PANIC AT THE DISCO:
-covered shout at the end, and brendon stood on the speaker and said "shhhhh." and started talking about singing quiet then he looked around and said "this is fucking amaizng"
-JON JWALKING OMFJ.
-brendon played piano (finally!) during when the day met the night
-dedicated northern downpour to us
-said we were better then the staples center YEAH SUCK ON THAT
-I waved at ryan and he smiled and waved back
-brendon talked about meeting strangers and going home with them and how its special (in my lying video)
-introduced lying as "sexy time!"
-ryan "want to hear an old song? How about two? how about three?" they played a medley of time to dance/london beckoned/ and esteban. (video)
-my stepdad caught a water bottle from brendon!
-its in my room stfu
-i didnt get to touch ryan this time.
-fuck you banana pants. grr at you not coming down.
-grr at spencer being so far away. grrr.
-Bden jumped around more and played less guitar woot woot!

after the show, i bought the reinvent love shirt and the black tour shirt (the one with the dates on the back)
it was amazing. grace had a meet and greet but i was too scared to say anything when i saw her at tapioca express lmao
too bad, i would have met panic.
but, theres always the next time THAT MY STEPDAD PROMISED AFTER THE THIRD ALBUM IS RELEASED.

]]> Buzznet xtragicpoemx 2008-10-19T11:28:00Z <![CDATA[dont wake me up]]> http://xtragicpoemx.buzznet.com/user/journal/3008941/dont-wake-up/ id love to say i love you
but these days its hard to even love anybody.

the skies blue and the sun is shining
but these thoughts are raining down on me.

believe in me because i dont know what to believe in anymore.

maybe ill find it someday.

maybe ill forget.

maybe this is just what we need.

imperfection to keep us all insane.]]> Buzznet xtragicpoemx 2008-09-12T22:54:00Z <![CDATA[Happy late bday ryho]]> http://xtragicpoemx.buzznet.com/user/journal/2945991/happy-late-bday-ryho/

state fair. mall.
HOT TOPIC<3

i got 8 new band tees.

-the academy is
-chiodos
-scary kids scaring kids
-we the kings
-phantom planet
-paramore
-metro station
-and from first to last

i also got a white and blue boys like girls hoodie, and a paramore hoodie.

and skinnies in yellow, purple, and black&grey plaid.

got some bracelets, blue stunna shades and stuffffs.


today i went and bought panics first album (for the 3rd time lol) it got stepped on a while back.

and FAST TIMES AT BARRINGTON HIGH! finally!!!! lol
(william is sooo cute on the inside pic)

state fair..omg almost died. soooo hottttt.

big, scary rides. my sister screaming cause she wanted off this one ride,lol.

drank my weight in vitamin water....not really but had a lot of it lol.


three hour phone calls = love.

with the most amazing person in the world.

and 9th grade year wouldnt have been the same without your random CN quotes and "dude my moms such a jew" and "so, what exactly DO you guys do with a ladle?" "dskjflksdfjsldkf" "oh, oh god, just,just forget i asked" omg<3 haha best inside joke ever. singing the party in my tummy song on the bus. and that "yeah id fuck brendon urie. wait does that make me gay?" lolol. no, only real men can(rofl) admit they brendon.

anyone who cant is just so far back in the closet that their in narnia lol i love you so much! too bad your never on to read this. which is why im posting it lol. we need to make more maceroni and cheese next time i see you. maybe some chocolate strawberries (good times).


hmmmm. i need to go back to maryville now.


.]]> Buzznet xtragicpoemx 2008-08-31T14:11:00Z